..wHaT miGhT hAvE bEeN..

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I'm watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can't forget
Your mem'ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been
Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

I want you to know
My heart will show that I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been
I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we've got love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I'm wondering what might have been
We're gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been

memoirs @ Baguio

Pine trees. Strawberries. Chilly breeze of air. These are only some of the things that remind us of Baguio. But other than that, it was truly a memorable experience, for it opened my eyes, and perhaps made that BLAG sound in my heart. I am truly blessed to have a wonderful family, who, in spite of their imperfections, have somehow showed support in your lowly points in life (a few perhaps). Well, it was quite odd to know that the people you least expect to listen to my crappykins, are those who are willing to lend me an ear. My tear ducts were once again overflowed with tears (sniff), making me realize how inlove I was with love. Let go, that is what my heart and mind tells me. With a little help from my friends (and family), I know I can do it. (With a long list of heartbreaking playlist- Someday, Hawak Kamay, and the like..and not to forget the classics from Martin Nievera..with everybody's best friend Saint Miguel Light and Dilis). I can afford to risk the friendship, if it is for the good. I am willing to wait, patiently..for I know, God has written a Love Story more than I could ever dream of.

..For transparency and truth..

I am a teacher. For the past 15 years that I have been with the Institution, I've always looked up to my teachers not just as second parents, but basically, as my mentors. They molded me into what I am at the present, and I will always be grateful for that. The tears, hardships, joys- all of these I experienced, and bravely surpassed.

It is expected that they should serve as role-models to us students, which means they should practice truth, equality and transparency. I just feel sad when the news broke about the UNJUST criteria and deliberation of my nephew, who's vying for the valedictory award at WVSU - Integrated Laboratory School- Elementary department. I had sleepness nights, trying to figure out how and why it happened. Inspite of the child's efforts in making it to the top, and only finding out that all of these were trash. I feel for my sister's family, for they truly worked hard for this. They even spent for my nephew's competitions at their own expense, and even representing the school's name for all his achievements. Yet, he remained humble and down-to-earth..(not even a hint of the INFAMOUS tarps, bannering infront of the school). I felt bad, not only because he did not get the much-coveted award, but because transparency did not prevail. How can they let all these padded documents pass; and even the unjust pointing system. They could have made their choices instead of giving these deserving yet voiceless pupils with much hope.

This simply reminded me of my very own experience when I also vied for a coveted award; to be the outstanding student teacher in my department during my time. I felt I was robbed of that; for the unfair and unjust selection. My co-nominee was informed about it on the week we were all having the demo with our respective classes, and she did not even had her demo with her own students. She did not even make the effort of making her own visual aids; it was OUR classmates who did it. I even had high hopes for my critic teacher assured me of that, and somehow gave me a little pat at the back. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way I expected it to be. I don't want to listen to other people's hearsay that her mother was an M.A. classmate of one of the members of the selection commitee. I felt robbed by the fact that most members of the selection commitee were my past teachers in elementary. My classmates planned for a boycott; to at least get a percentage from the classmates themselves, for they can truly testify the character of a certain candidate. Being a peace-loving person, I told them to mellow down, anyway, it's not a guarantee of one's success in life. I have finally moved on, inspite of not having any award at all (not even the Loyalty award for 15 years as a student for the Institution) I was .04 short of being a cum laude, but I think it was God's way of telling me to strive for the better. But then, I still managed to smile, with my friends and colleagues supporting me all the way. No doubt I truly enjoyed my years being with the Institution, but when it comes to academic standards, I feel sorry for these innocent students who are robbed of their own fruits of labor. It's enough for me to know that I did not deserve it, but I didn't expect that this would continue even with my own family. I just hope that these things won't happen again, even to my youngest niece who's in the fourth grade. I still do hope, and pray that those responsible will have a clear conscience and a discerning heart in making the right decisions.

..tWo wOrDs..

In a while, in a word,

Every moment now returns.

For a while, seen or heard,

How each memory softly burns.

Facing you who brings me new tomorrows,

I thank God for yesterdays,

How they led me to this very hour,

How they led me to this place...



Every touch, every smile,

You have given me in care.

Keep in heart, always I'll,

Now be treasuring everywhere.

And if life should come to just one question,

Do I hold this moment true?

No trace of sadness,

Always with gladness...

'I DO...'

(instrumental)



Now a song that speaks of now and ever,

Beckons me to someone new,

Unexpected, unexplored, unseen,

Filled with promise coming through.

In a while, in a word,

You and I forever change,

Love so clear, never blurred,

Has me feeling wondrous, strange,

And if life should come to just one question,

Do I face each moment true?

No trace of sadness, always with gladness,

'I DO...'



Never with sadness...

Always with gladness...

'I...DO....'

..3 days before Heart's Day :(..

Midnight bottle take me come with me
My memories and everything come back to me
Midnight bottle make it real what feels like make believe
So I can see a little more clearly
Like every single move you make
Kissing me so carefully
On the corners of my dreaming eyes

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight
I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
When I'm with you and everything's all right if only for tonight

Got a midnight bottle drifting off into the candlelight
Where I can find you in your time
A midnight bottle I forgot how good it felt to be
In a dream just like you had me
'Coz lately I've been stumbling feels like I'm recovering
But I think it's only for tonight

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight
I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
When I'm with you and everything's all right if only for tonight
If only for tonight, if only for tonight, if only for tonight

..tOrN bEtWeEn a hAbiT aNd a dReAm..

Blissful days. Dreamy eyes. Feeling of giddiness. These are just symptoms of bein "swept away"..And I'm just as thankful as anyone who are currently having this kind of feeling. It has been 2 years since I got into a relationship full of ups and downs; so I waited..and waited..and waited..And at last, he came. Well, I used to think of him as someone unreachable; wishing I EXIST in his life. After 4 months of waiting with matching indirect stares, finally, I existed. My heart truly leaped for unexplainable joy, thus the friendship started. (I'd rather skip the "kilig" moments- I'll just share it when I'm ready)..I realized that a DREAM is starting to become a REALITY..Constant talks, friendly advices and quotes and the like..He was an answered prayer. But then, just like any DREAM, I have to wake up. If not, I'd really force myself to wake up and face the fact that it can't happen, as much as I really wanted to. I don't want to think that I'll just simply let go and leave everything hanging. So might as well be better to pretend that everything's fine and be hurt down inside. Good thing, somebody's there to catch me. It might not be the person I expected, but indeed, it was someone who has been a part of me. He has been my HABIT, and this time, I'm not so sure if I should go for it or not. That question is left unanswered, and let Father Time guide me to the right path. I'm still waiting..waiting..and hoping..for better days to come.

Who is Tinkerbell?

inker Bell is the jealous pixie who glows brightest for Peter Pan. Her voice sings like a tinkling bell and a sprinkle of her pixie dust can make you fly. But this sprite can turn spiteful if she suspects that Peter's attentions are diverted to anyone but herself. It's bad enough that she has to compete with Never Land's other adoring females (the mermaids and Princess Tiger Lily), but now Peter's brought back this Wendy person from London. Tink would lay down her life for Peter, but he's too busy playing Wendy's hero to care. Somehow she'll find a way to settle the score, even if it takes eliminating the competition. Tinker Bell is described as a common fairy who mends pots and kettles, i.e. a tinker, and is often referred to simply as "Tink". Though sometimes ill-behaved and vindictive, at other times she is helpful and kind to Peter (for whom she apparently has romantic feelings). The extremes in her personality are explained in-story by the fact that a fairy's size prevents her from holding more than one feeling at a time. Tinker Bell, like other fairies in Barrie's works, can make it possible for others to fly, by sprinkling them with fairy dust. Though she couldn't speak, her actions are convincing enough to prove how dear Peter Pan is. She is an epitome of a person who gives up everything for a loved one. Here are some of her "infamous" quotes:

.."Someday you'd find your own Peter Pan. A guy who would take care of you and fly with you against the winds. But then you'd notice that his heart still belongs to Wendy"..

..When Peter Pan saw Tinkerbell again after quite sometime, he asked, "Why did you have to go away for so long?" Tinkerbell replied, "You never gave me a reason to come back. I was always there when you needed me, but I guess you never showed how important I am to your life. Now it's different and now we've changed. But I'm still smiling." Peter Pan asked her why and she said, "I myself don't know the reason. It's just that now..it's your turn to miss me."

"..And in that place bet wide awake and sleepin'..That place where we still remember dreamin'..Is where I'll love you always.."